


You're A Terrible Liar

by Small_Town_Wayward_Daughter



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Past Abortion, Past Rape/Non-con, a lot of cussing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 13:05:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7509418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Small_Town_Wayward_Daughter/pseuds/Small_Town_Wayward_Daughter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You and Tig are friends with benefits, then you meet Happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it! Thank you for reading! <3

"Tig! We gotta go, Gemma will kill me if you make us late!" I yelled at the idiot in my shower.   
"Keep your shirt on F/N, You want me to show up smelling like we just fucked?" He yelled back and I just sighed as I got dressed. He was great in bed and I was glad we had the whole friends with benefits thing going on but sometimes he made me contemplate murdering him. We both loved each other but not in that I wanna marry you and look at your naked ass for the rest of my life kind of way. We were just best friends that fucked.   
"You always smell like you just fucked someone Tig! What does that matter?" He stuck his arm out the bathroom door and flipped me off before he came out dressed and ready to go. Gemma had invited the guys over for a spaghetti dinner at her house and had insisted that I come because I 'kept Tigger in line' and if he broke another one of her windows she would kill him. We headed over and I went to help Gemma in the kitchen after I told Tig to behave himself.   
"Hey baby." She hugged me and gave me a smile.  
"Hey Gem. Need some help?" She nodded.   
"Could you take some beers out to the guys?" I nodded and filled a tray with beer. I walked out into the living room and saw a new face in the crowd. I passed the beers around and I got hugged from Jax, Juice, Opie, and Half-Sack, Tig slapped my ass and Clay gave me a grin. I smiled at the new guy as I passed him a bottle and he gave me an intense stare. He was _cute_.  
"This is Happy." Clay told me and I smiled at him again. "Hap, meet F/N Tig's old lady." Both Tig and I laughed and shook our heads.   
"Ha! Tig couldn't handle me full time Clay, definitely not his old lady." I grinned when Jax nodded and clapped Tig on the back.  
"We just fuck Jesus!" He yelled and I saw Happy look over at him as my face flushed red.  
"Fucking really Tig?" I muttered as I walked into the kitchen. I heard A husky voice tell him,  
"I don't think you are gonna be fucking her now classy guy." All the guys laughed and that was all I heard as the door swung shut behind me. I wasn't really mad at Tig. I just wanted him to not blurt it out like that I cussed a lot but I still liked to pretend that I was a lady. Gemma told me not to worry about men acting like idiots and I smiled and helped her finish dinner. Dinner at Gemma and Clay's was interesting, It was loud and with all sorts of side conversations, I noticed that Happy was a quiet guy and that Tig was trying to make him feel uncomfortable after his comment earlier. He was asking him embarrassing questions and I finally had enough.   
"So Tig, did you ever tell the guys about those pretty pink panties you wanted me to buy for you?" He chocked on his beer and spit it across the table at me as he coughed.   
"What?" Jax said as he busted up laughing and I noticed Happy smile softly.   
"Yeah they have little bows on the back and say 'spank me' on em. _Really classy_." I gave Tig a look.  
"Stop teasing the poor guy F/N." Clay told me and I winked at him.   
"Sure thing Papa Clay." Gemma grinned and got up to start clearing the table. I stood up to help her and Tig tugged my hand.   
"Can I see you outside?" I grimaced but nodded and he hauled me out the back door, He usually took my teasing in stride, I wonder what was making him nuts.  
"Tig I like my arm attached." I muttered as he pulled me around to face him.   
"Do you like the new guy?" He demanded and I gaped at him.  
"What?"  
"You fucking heard me!" He looked _mad?_  
"No Tig, I just met him literally two hours ago. Besides you and I are- doing whatever this is." I motioned between us "I don't know what the rules for that are but I last I checked I didn't think you'd care if I did like or fuck anyone else."   
"What is this?" He motioned back at me.   
"Well according to you we just fuck right?" I tilted my head at him and he rubbed his hand over his face.  
"Christ what am I doing yelling at you?" I shrugged at him and he pulled me into a hug. "I'm sorry, you know I'm an asshole." I nodded and pinched his nipple.   
"Yeah, what the hell is your problem today?"  
"I like this chick-" I looked at him. "No not you Jesus. I'm not that masochistic. She wasn't really born a she if you get me." I nodded. "Well she is driving me nuts pushing me away, I guess it finally got to me."   
"Tig, d-do you _love_ her?" I swear his face fucking turned pink and he just scoffed at me.  
"Wha-N-No! C'mon I don't do that- that whole thing." He muttered and I grinned at him.   
"Alexander Trager I can't believe you didn't tell me, your _best fucking friend_ that you fell in love with a nice transvestite girl."   
"When was I gonna bring it up? Mid thrust as we were fucking or as you were shoving me out the door so one of us could go to work?" I nodded and smiled at him.  
"Call her. Tell her. Don't let her think you are that easy to get rid of especially since you are like fucking herpes. You never leave." He nodded and pulled out his phone.  
"You sure I should call her?" I nodded and I kissed his cheek and he looked at me.   
"Glad you aren't actually mad at me Tiggy." He shook his head at me as he dialed.   
"Never could be kid. I love ya to much." _sure he could tell me he loved me but not the woman he wanted to be with._ I smiled and went inside to help Gemma clean up.   
"He ok?" She asked and I nodded at her.   
"Needed me to get him back in line as always."  
  
  
"Juice! Oh Juicy Fruit!" I walked into the garage and called out for him in a sing song voice.  
"He's out with Clay." I jumped and whipped around at the sound of a gruff voice.  
"Oh. Uh thanks, I need him to help me with my car." I muttered and ran a hand through my hair. "Uh shit ok. I'm gonna leave it here, can you tell him to look at it when he gets a chance?" He nodded.   
"How will you get home?" I looked at him.  
"Oh, I'm going to work, I'll just walk." He shook his head and went to the office to talk to Gemma before he motioned for me to follow him. "Happy, you don't have to-"   
"Get on." He told me as he handed me the helmet and slid on his bike. "Where are we going?" I sighed.   
"The club off main." I told him and he took off towards work. We were there within minutes and I climbed off his bike. "Thanks for the ride Happy." I kissed his cheek and handed him his helmet. He smiled softly.  
"What time are you off?" Crap I didn't think of that.   
"Oh um I get off at 11." He nodded.   
"See you then." He pulled away from the curb and headed back to TM. A man of many words that one. I sighed and went into work.  
  
Sure enough about ten to 11 Happy came inside the club and sat in front of me at the bar. I smiled at him and poured him a beer for his wait. I turned to pour out an order and when I turned around he had a girl hanging on his arm and he looked unhappy about it. She had miles of long blonde hair and a barley there dress that left nothing to the imagination. I walked over and asked him if he needed anything.  
"No we're fine." The girl told me dismissively and Happy gave me a help me look. I smiled.   
"Honey that's my man you're hanging on and I'd say you could have him but he just knocked me up." I put a hand on my belly and she looked at me and then at him before she backed off and walked away.   
"Your man?" I smiled and nodded at him. "How would Tig feel about that?"   
"Tig? Why would he care? We aren't doing anything anymore. He has the lovely Miss Venus warming his bed at night." I grabbed my bag from under the bar, waved at my boss and walked around the bar to stand by him. "Ready?" He stood up and I realized how tall he was. I was 5'5, he had to be 6'1 at least. He smiled and put his hand on my back as he nudged me towards the door. I gave him directions to my house and he dropped me off. "Wanna come inside?" He gave me a long look and shook his head.  
"Better just make sure you make it inside." I nodded  
"Thanks for the ride, did Juice ever say what happened to my car?"   
"Oh yeah-" He tugged my car key out and handed it to me. "Car's in the garage." I tilted my head at him.   
"Yet you still gave me a ride home? Why Happy Lowman do you _like_ me?" He smiled at me and tilted his head  
"Isn't that what friends do?"  
"Are we friends?" He smirked at me and nodded. Damn he was attractive, his brown eyes were playful and he carried himself with pride.  
"Well then, thanks for the ride _friend_." I kissed his cheek and made sure to put an extra swing in my hips as I walked to the door. I heard him drive off after I closed the door and I sighed. _What am I doing? Do I like Happy? What would be wrong if I did? Why did I feel like I needed to ask Tig if it was ok?_ I banged my head against the door and went to get changed. I made some dinner, brushed my teeth and went to bed. I had to make Juice some cookies for fixing my car in the morning.  
  
  
"F/N can I marry you and have you make me cookies all the time?" Half-Sack asked me the next afternoon and I just laughed at him.   
"Kipp, you're to innocent for me, I would tear you apart and I like you too much for that." He smiled at me and walked away with a nod at Happy when he came over to me.  
"What about me?" He mumbled and I looked up at him.  
"You?"  
"Would you tear me apart?" I gave him a slow dirty smile.   
"Only in the best possible way." His eyes warmed and I felt my body heat up a little when he grinned at me. Tig came up behind me, picked me up, and tossed me over his shoulder.   
"Sorry Hap need a quickie with F/N here." He hauled me into the office and shut the door.   
"Hi Tig." I laughed and he smiled at me.   
"Hey darlin', there is a club party tonight and I want you to come meet Venus." He gave me the puppy dog eyes and I nodded at him.   
"Sure I'm off tonight."  
"Thanks, she's been dying to meet you." I smiled at him and he told me when to meet him and that he would pick me up since Venus drove herself. I hugged him and told him that I would see him tonight. When I went back out to the garage Happy was gone but I figured he was just working so I hugged Gemma and headed for home to find something to wear tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

I took a while to pamper myself before the party, I took a relaxing bath, gave myself a manicure and pedicure. Hair was easy it was brown and curly, not much to do there except put in a little creme gel and let it air dry, my makeup was foundation, a dark sparkly brown eye shadow, and a crap load of mascara. I wasn't really high maintenance, and getting dressed was even easier. I put on some ripped skinny jeans, and an all blue lace tank top under a black SAMCRO tank top with slits all over it except for the logo. I topped it off with leather boots and some perfume. I heard Tig yelling at me from the kitchen and knew it was time to go.   
"You look sexed up slut." He told me and I gave him a look and flipped him off.   
"I wanted to look nice asshole." He laughed and shoved me out the door. I went to track down Gemma and found Opie's wife Donna which shocked me a little. She hated the club since Opie had gone to jail and lost out on time with his kids a while back. We talked for a while before I felt a hand slap my ass and turned to tell off Tig but saw a person that I didn't know.  
"Uh. Hi?" I said in a confused tone and they guy just smirked at me.   
"You are damn sexy." Donna gave a small scoff and I just gave an awkward smile.   
"Was there something you wanted?" I asked him and he looked at me like I was a five course meal.  
"Actually yeah you can my pretty little crow eater." I gaped at him.  
"I'm _not_ a crow eater." I told him and he frowned.   
"Are you an old lady?" I shook my head and I looked over his shoulder to see some of the guys come out of the club house.  
"Oh look, Donna there are the guys we should go." I tried to make a fast get away but he gripped my arm as Donna walked over to Opie.   
"Wait I wasn't done."   
"You're done. Let. Her. Go." I heard Tig tell him in a cold voice and I cringed he only used that tone when he was ready to murder someone.  
"What? I'm bonding with the crow eater Tig, beat it." He told him over his shoulder and I winced.   
"For the second time I'm not a crow eater asshole." Tig yanked me away from the guy and gripped my hand in his. "Who are you anyway?"   
"Kozik." He muttered and I started to laugh.  
"You are a brave mother fucker for coming here man. Tig hates you with a fiery passion." Tig looked at me with concerned eyes and I just smiled at him. The guy took the hint and wandered off finally. "Thanks for the save Tiggy. He wasn't taking a hint." Tig nodded and tugged me over to the guys to introduce me to his lady love. Venus was a lovely charming woman and I loved her instantly. She was sure we would be 'the nearest and dearest of friends in no time'. A little while later I headed outside for a smoke and ran into Happy, literally. I ran right into him and he reached out to steady me by my hips.   
"Oh shit, I'm sorry." I looked up into his brown eyes and smiled gently. "I wasn't looking where I was going I was just thinking of getting some fresh air and nicotine."   
"Care if I join you?" I shook my head and he stepped back to let me by him.   
"Not much of a party animal?" I asked him as I jumped onto the picnic table. He shook his head and stood next to me. Tig was getting drunk I could tell because I could hear him all the way outside and he was slurring all over the place. I sighed.   
"What?" He asked and I just shrugged.   
"My ride is getting wasted."   
"I can give you a ride." I smirked to myself _I would like to give you a ride._   
"You don't have to do that, Its not that far of a walk." He gave me a look and I just gave him one back. "I walk all the time Hap. I'm used to taking care of myself."   
"Well get unused to it. I am giving you a ride home." Kozik came outside and I stiffened on reflex. Happy felt it and slid an arm around my shoulders.   
"Thought you weren't an old lady. You got two guys wrapped around your finger." He slurred at me and gave me a scathing look. "That because you wrap your lips around their-" He got cut off when I launched myself at him. I kneed him in the balls before a laughing Happy scooped me up and carried me away from him.   
"Asshole!" I yelled at Kozik "Happy put me down I wanna kick his ass!" I squirmed and he held me tighter against him. I accidentally rubbed my ass against his junk and he took a deep breath.   
"Calm yourself." He muttered in my ear and I relaxed against him. He set me on my feet and I turned to look up at him. His eyes were darker then normal and he was looking at my lips, on instinct I licked my bottom lip and bit it as I looked at him.   
"I'm calm now." I told him and stepped closer to him as he nodded. He put his hands on my hips and I put mine on his sides, I thought he was gonna kiss me but he just shook his head and backed away from me.   
"We should go back inside."   
"Oh, uh ok. Sure." I said in a quiet tone and turned away from him. I kinda avoided him once we got inside, I hadn't realized how much I wanted him to kiss me until he backed away. I wanted him to kiss me _a lot_ and was a little disappointed. I hung around Jax and Half-Sack at the bar, I didn't drink anything except water but I was having fun watching them get drunk. They were both so funny when they were hammered. An hour later I felt a hand on my arm and looked up at Happy.   
"You ready to head home?" I nodded and went to hug Gemma good bye. She pulled me aside and asked me if I wanted to make some extra cash working in a Cara Cara video, the girl that was gonna be in it cancelled and they had no one else. I nodded and she told me to meet her there middle of next week to get my script and costume. I followed Happy outside and slid on the bike behind him. He drove home and I was surprised when he slid off the bike to walk me to my door. I was stupid and blurted out the first thing that came to mind.   
"Why didn't you kiss me? I know you wanted to." I sighed and cursed myself internally.   
"I don't know what you're talking about." He muttered and I looked at him.   
"You're a terrible liar." I told him.   
"I don't share."   
"I'm not with anyone."  
"Tig."  
"I told you that we aren't doing anything anymore and that we haven't in a while now. Besides, I was never his, we were just friends with benefits." He looked at me for a long minute.   
"I don't share." He repeated and I sighed.   
"You don't have to." I muttered before I shook my head. I don't know why it mattered but I wanted him to know that I was loyal. "Look, I don't fuck around if I'm with someone Happy, I'm loyal to a fault and I have never cheated on anyone."  
"I wanna take you out on your next night off." I blinked at him and nodded.   
"Uh I've got a night off in two days."  
"Wear pants that you can move around in." _What?_ "I'll pick you up at 5." He told me and stepped into my personal space.  
"Um ok." I looked up at him and he leaned down to kiss my cheek. I smiled at him and he opened my front door and nudged me inside. "Ride safe." I called out to him before I shut the door.  
  
  
 _Wear pants that you can move around in._ What the fuck? Ugh! Figuring out what to wear was fuckin impossible! I groaned and finally decided to wear shorts. I pulled out a pair of stretchy black shorts that were a little shiny and covered my ass completely. I wore a gray spaghetti strapped shirt under a gray and black leopard print tank top that had the straps tied together in the middle of my shoulder blades with a pink bow. I decided to wear my gray Vans and I did minimal makeup, opting to look more natural then I had the other night. My hair was down and curly as always however I did pin my bangs out of my face. I hand my messenger bag over my shoulder and was ready to go when I heard a knock on my front door. I opened it and smiled at Happy. His eyes were calm and light instead of the serious on edge that they usually were. He looked well happy and I was glad for that. Most people would probably think he was intimidating but to me he was just a tall bald guy that I thought was awesome.  
"Hello handsome." I winked at him and he smirked at me. He was wearing black shorts, and a white t-shirt with black boots. He looked casual but still really fucking attractive.  
"Hi." He murmured and I saw him staring at my legs. I had some scars on my legs from when I was younger and I had forgotten about them. I kinda wished that I had worn jeans now.  
"All my pants are skin tight and not really great for moving around in." I muttered and tugged the shorts down awkwardly.   
"That's fine, You look great. Uh are you ready to go?" I nodded and walked out onto the porch, locking the door behind me. He slid on the bike and handed me the helmet before I slid on after him. I spaced out until the bike stopped moving and when I looked up I started to laugh.   
" _Laser tag?_ " I asked him incredulously and he grinned and nodded. He was full of surprises.  
"Ready to get your ass kicked?" He asked and I chuckled and shook my head at him. I took off my helmet and fluffed my hair back up as I looked at him.  
"Oh baby, you picked the wrong person to play against." His eyes lit up at the pet name and I smirked at him as he walked over to me and took my hand.   
"This is gonna be fun." He murmured and tugged me inside. He wasn't wrong, it was a fucking blast. It was tied for most of the game, we both were running flat out, taunting one another. I tucked and rolled under a sign and waited for him to walk by so that I could get him. He was a sneaky bastard thought and saw me hiding so he hid around the corner and yelled at me to 'stop camping out'. I laughed at him  
"What do you think you are doing hun? You're a camper too!" I yelled and he laughed at me. I sneaked out from under the sign when he wasn't looking and when he turned back to face me I was right in front of him. "Bang." I muttered as I pulled the trigger for the winning shot. He grinned at me and pulled me against him.  
"Good game darlin'. You weren't all talk like I thought you were." I smirked at him and leaned up on my tip toes to whisper in his ear.   
"I am never all talk baby." His eyes were dark when I pulled back to look at him and he gave me a wicked smiled before starting another game and running away from me.


	3. Chapter 3

Happy and I ended up both winning a game before we went to get some food. It was not what I was expecting to be honest, and that made it great. I don't know what I thought our date would be but I was glad that he showed me his playful side. He drove me home and we were walking to my door when I told him, "This was fun, I can't believe you like laser tag." He smiled at me.   
"I like anything that shoots even if its just a laser." He told me and then grimaced when he realized how that sounded. I laughed and put my hand on his arm.   
"I know what you mean, I have a salt gun among my collection, so I'm not one to judge." He nodded and looked down at me with a serious expression. I tilted my head at him and waited. He took a deep breath and put his hand on the side of my face.  
"Can I kiss you?" I smiled and nodded. That seemed like a Happy thing to do, he wanted to make sure that I was consenting to kiss him. He wanted me to know that if I said no he would listen. He leaned down to kiss me and I was grinning like an idiot on the inside. His kiss was gentle but sure and when he pulled back to look at me his eyes were warm and soft. "We'll have to do this again sometime." He muttered and I nodded. He smiled, kissed my forehead and nudged me inside. "Lock the door." I stuck my tongue out at him.  
"Yes _Dad_. Ride safe." I closed the door and locked it. I heard him laugh as he walked over to his bike to leave.  
  
I woke up to the sound of my cell ringing and I groaned. " 'Lo?"  
"Baby are you still asleep?" It was Gemma.   
"Hey Gem, yeah I couldn't fall asleep, what's up?" she chuckled and asked me to come over to TM, she wanted to save me a trip out to Cara Cara and I told her I would be there soon. I showered, got ready and an hour later I was walking into the office. She smiled at me and got up to hug me.   
"Hey pretty girl, how are you?" I smiled  
"Hi mama, I'm good, how are you?" She smiled and handed me a bag I opened it to see and short pleated skirt, and a white vest with one button in the middle. It looked like it would cover my tits and that was it. "Uh school girl?" She nodded.   
"Professor Sexy is going to give you a spanking in detention." I laughed and nodded at her. I heard someone call my name from the garage and stuck my head out.   
"What?" I yelled and Juice popped his head out from under a car.   
"Hi gorgeous." He winked at me and I blew him a kiss.   
"Hey Juicy Fruit." I walked over to hug him and we were talking when I felt an arm come over my shoulder. I looked up and saw Happy. "Hi Hap."   
"Hey baby." He leaned down and kissed me. Right in the middle of the garage and right in front of Juice, who had stopped mid sentence and was gaping at us.  
"Uh ok. I should go. I'll see you at Cara Cara tomorrow F/N." I looked at him  
"Are you in the film?" He shook his head.   
"Tech guy remember?" I smiled and nodded. "Your part is pretty kinky though. Um bring some baby powder for the handcuff scene. Don't want raw wrists." I grimaced and felt Happy's eyes on me.   
"You're gonna be in a porno?" Juice slid back under the car and I knew he thought that made him invisible.  
"Um yeah Gemma asked me if I would help her out with it since the actress she had planned bailed." He nodded "Is that ok?" He looked at me.   
"Why wouldn't it be?"  
"I'm just making sure that you're ok with it. She asked me before we started hanging out but still it matters." He smiled at me softly.   
"It's fine. As long as you are comfortable with it." I nodded at him. "I gotta go do some stuff for Clay, I'll call you later and see what you're up to alright?" He kissed me and left. I turned around and bumped into a very concerned Tig. He never had that look unless something was really bugging him.   
"Oh god! you scared me!" I laughed and put my hand on his arm. "What's wrong?"  
"You and the new guy huh?" I smiled at him.   
"Aw Tiggy are you worried about me?" He glowered for a second before he nodded.   
"He's an intense guy F/N I just want you to be careful. I just want you with someone you aren't scared of. After what happened-"  
"Alex, no. I am not scared of Happy. I know what the men in this club are capable of I really do, but if I thought for a second that I needed to be worried I wouldn't have even looked at him. You taught me how to protect myself remember?" He nodded at me. "I learned from the best sweetie, I love you for worrying though. Thank you." I hugged him and kissed his cheek. I only called him by his first name when I was deadly serious and he knew that.  
"So I'm coming to Cara Cara tomorrow. I wanna watch my best friend play porn star for the first time." I smacked him and laughed.  
"Hey I think I acted pretty well when you would fuck me." I laughed at the look on his face.  
"Baby, I'm the best sex you ever had, You ain't got to lie." I nodded and he looked smug as he walked out of the garage.  
  
  
Juice hadn't lied about needing that baby powder, my wrists were in agony. I was currently handcuffed to a chair over a desk and being told what a 'good student' I was being as my really handsome costar pounded into me. A few minutes later they called cut and told me to take a break. I looked up and stretched my neck once I was uncuffed and my breath caught in my throat. _Happy_. He was staring at me with empty eyes and I smiled awkwardly as I tried in vain to tug the best down lower. I didn't know that he was gonna be here, watching. Tig stepped up to me and patted my ass, I slapped his hand and tugged my skirt down.   
"Only a few more scenes F/N then you're free to go." I nodded at the director and looked up as someone approached me, it was my costar 'Axel'.  
"Hi. Nice job on that scene." I just looked at him and smiled. "So uh I was wondering what you had planned after filming was done?"   
"Um I-"  
"She's got plans." I heard a familiar gruff voice say from behind me.   
"Who are you?" Axel asked.  
"She's my girl." He took my hand in his and I leaned against him with a small smile. _Who knew, Happy was possessive_.  
"I didn't think the girls were allowed to date members of the club." He gave me a look.  
"This is my first film, I'm doing it as a personal favor for Gemma." I told him and his eyes went wide. Everyone knew not to mess with friends of the _Queen_. He nodded and walked away to talk to someone else and I turned to look at Happy. "So we have plans?" I teased and he gave me a look before he nodded.   
"I'll take you home, we can hang out and watch a movie or something."   
"Sounds good, I'll make something for dinner." He smiled at me and I was called back to finish filming. He made sure to give me a kiss before I headed back to the set and I saw Tig approach him as I was walking away. I sighed and hoped that Tig would play nice.  
  
  
"Coming!" I yelled out as I ran from my room to get the door. Happy was right on time, which sucked for me because I was running late. He told me that he'd see me in an hour when I left Cara Cara, that he had to help Jax and Opie with something, I figured that would take longer but I was wrong. I opened the door and smiled at him. "Hi."   
"Hi." He was looking at what I was wearing and I looked down at my bare feet, black stretchy pants, and purple tank top. I was wearing a bra but only the black straps showed so I wasn't worried.   
"What?" I asked him after a minute.   
"You look beautiful." I smiled at him.   
"You don't prefer the porn star look?" I remembered the teased hair, shit ton of make up and the glitter, the fucking glitter everywhere.   
"No. That's not real, this-" He motioned at me "Is real." I nodded  
"Alright smooth talker, how does tacos sound for dinner?"   
"Fine, I wanna help though."   
"Deal." This would be interesting.  
  
Happy was setting the table and I was stirring the beef when he told me, "Tig came over and talked to me today. About you." I paused.  
"Oh yeah?"  
"Yep." I sighed.   
"What did he say?"   
"He said if I ever hurt you or scared you that he'd cut my dick off." I grimaced and looked down at the meat.   
"Oh."   
"I'm guessing there is a story behind that?" I nodded. "Well that doesn't matter unless you think it does, but-" He turned me to face him, cupped my face in his hands. "I'll never hurt you, never scare you on purpose and I'll never hit you." I nodded.  
"I know that. If I thought that you would or I found you the least bit unnerving I would never have gotten close to you. I trust you Happy, besides I think I could take you." I told him with a soft smile and he laughed.   
"I'm sure you could, I saw what you did to Kozik's balls, man is still walking funny." I laughed   
"Tig is my best friend, he has been with me through a lot and that is why he felt the need to warn you. Sometime I'll tell you my story and I hope you'll tell me yours but now isn't the time ok?" He nodded and I knew that the tense subject was over with. After dinner was eaten and put away we settled on the couch to watch a movie, he had picked Mr. Deeds with Adam Sandler and I had to admit that his laugh was the most adorable sound I had ever heard. I looked up at him and smiled at the goofy grin on his face. He must've felt my eyes on him because he looked over and me and leaned down to kiss my head. He was an affectionate guy and I realized that I liked it. I invited him to stay over once the movie was done and he had accepted, we were laying in my bed and he asked me,  
"Why did you ask if I was ok with you being in that movie?"   
"Because your opinion matters to me Hap."  
"But why? Like if I said it I didn't like it what would that matter?"  
"If you said it would have bothered you I wouldn't have done it. Like how you asked me if you could kiss me, that meant that you were giving me the power to say no. It's the same thing."   
"Never had that before." He muttered and I looked up at him.   
"What?"  
"Never got this serious with someone before, so no one ever gave a shit what I wanted."   
"Oh. Well it's new for both of us I guess." He nodded and put his arm under me and pulled me closer to him. I fell asleep listening to his heartbeat in my ear.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been about two months since you and Happy got together. He was great, he made sure that you were taken care of and that you made it home safe, he even took your car to get the oil changed and you knew that he hated driving a cage. He had called you earlier and asked if you wanted to order pizza and watch a movie with him tonight and you had agreed, he liked staying in as much as you did since you both were kept pretty busy. About an hour before he was supposed to show up your phone ran and it was Tig.  
"Hey Tigger what's up?" He didn't reply but I heard him breathing erratically. "Tig?"  
"Can you come get me? I'm at your bar, I might need a ride, can't drive, can you come?" He was hammered and sounded pissed.   
"What happened?"  
"She's driving me nuts, just needed to blow off some steam and I can't drive now." He slurred  
"I'm coming, I'll be right there Tig. Don't leave."  
"Kay." He hung up and I sighed before calling Happy. He didn't answer so I left a message.  
"Hey Hap it's me, um Tig called and needs me to come save his drunk ass, this might take a while so I think that hanging out will have to wait. I'm sorry and I hope that you had a good day. Talk to you soon. Bye." I went and got my bag and keys and headed to pick up my inebriated friend. He was at the table in the corner and had the surly drunk face that I had grown to love over the years. "Hey Tiggy." I sat next to him and he sighed at me.  
"Hi."   
"What happened?" I knew it had to be Venus since that is the only 'she' he has been around lately.  
"I pissed her off and we fought." I gave him an 'and?' look. "She wanted to go out last night but I got caught up with club stuff and forgot to call. Again, I guess it's like the third time I've done it and I didn't even think about it."  
"No wonder she was mad asshole! I bet she got all ready and looking sexy for your kinky ass and then you didn't freaking show! She probably feels like you don't care about her." He looked at me and then at his shot glass.   
"What am I supposed to do?" He looked miserable.   
"You need to go over there and talk to her Tig." He went to stand up and I put my hand in his arm and tugged him back down. " _Tomorrow_ when you're sober, showered, and have fucking flowers for her." He nodded and gave me a smile.   
"Things were easier when we were fucking. You never cared if I did or didn't show up."  
"I care, I just knew the stakes. Fuck buddies and relationships are different Tig. You need to start acting like it." He nodded at me. "Ready for me to take you home now?"   
"Yeah." He got up, I paid his tab and I loaded him into my car. I drove him home, lugged him inside and dragged him down the hall to his room. I took off his Kutte and hung it up before I turned back to him.  
"Ok Tig, I need to get your pants off so hold still." He giggled and I scoffed at him and I unbuckled his belt and jeans and unzipped them. I tugged them down to his ankles. "Sit so I can get your boots." He sprawled across his bed and I finished getting him comfy and tucked him in. He kept lifting up the blanket on the other side and I just looked at him confused.   
"Stay, don't wanna be alone right now." He mumbled and I sighed at him but nodded. I took off my shoes and climbed in next to him. "Love you F/N." He muttered as he fell asleep.   
"Love you too Alex."  
  
  
I was making Tig coffee and breakfast when I heard his phone ringing I dashed down the hall to answer it but he got it before I did.   
"What?" He grumbled. "No she's here, she stayed the night with me, you wanna- Hello?" He looked at the screen and looked at me. "Happy called, said that you never came home last night and he was worried." I sighed   
"I left him a message before I came to get you." I went and pulled my phone from my bag. One missed call and 3:37 am from Happy. I called and he picked up after 4 rings.   
"Yeah?"  
"Uh hey."   
"Hey." He sounded off.   
"Uh I ended up crashing at Tig's last night, he didn't want to be alone."   
"Ok."   
"Are you alright?"  
"Yeah. Just busy."   
"Oh, um alright. Well uh maybe I'll see you later?"  
"Yeah maybe, I'll let you know." I sighed  
"Ok." He hung up and I just looked at my phone for a second. Tig came down the hall and looked at me.   
"What happened?"  
"I dunno, I guess he's having an off day?" I told him what happened and he just shrugged as he got his coffee. After Tig got awake and dressed I ran him over to pick up his bike and headed back to my place. I had a list of crap to do today and knew it would take forever. I started with changing my sheets, cleaning my room, dusting and vacuuming in there then the living room, vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, and then the kitchen. I cleaned the fridge wiped down the counters and table, swept and mopped the floors, took out the trash can. Last was cleaning the bathroom before I took a shower and got ready for the day. I started laundry and made a list of places that I needed to go. I had to pay the electric, water, and my cell phone bill, go get some clothes since mine were getting worn out, I needed new work shoes and the the grocery store. I was tempted to run by TM to see Happy but I didn't want to bug him so I just passed it and went to pay my bills. I got a few new pairs of pants, a few shirts and under shirts, some comfy pajamas and some new bra and panty sets.  
I went for shoes next because that wouldn't take long, then finally I was heading to the grocery store where I got more cleaning supplies, the non food necessities: Laundry soap, toilet paper, paper towels, dishwasher soap, shampoo and conditioner, body wash, and a few other things before I got enough food to last me for a while. I hated shopping and the less I had to do it the better. I was so glad to be home, I unloaded the groceries, put all that and my new clothes away and sat down to take a break for a few minutes. I knew that it had to be close to dinner time but I wasn't hungry. I changed the laundry over and went to sit on my bed. I ended up falling asleep and when I woke up it was 5:30 in the morning. I groaned and rolled over to check my phone. No missed anything, great.  
  
Happy ignored my calls the next few days and when I went to TM he was never around he was always busy and I wondered what was up with him. I finally caught him after almost a week of him not talking to me. "Hey." I said as he sat in the club house.  
"Hey." He gave me a blank look and I sighed.   
"Long time no see, or talk." I told him and he just shrugged. "What's the deal?"   
"No deal." He told me and I got frustrated.   
"You're a terrible liar." I told him and he gave me a look. "Why are you acting like this?"  
"Like what?"   
"Like an asshole Happy." He clenched his jaw and I just shook my head. "Whatever. Fuck it." I got up and walked outside but before I got in my car Happy had gripped my arm and spun me around to look at him.   
"Fuck it? That's it, you just don't care?" He said in his gravel voice.   
"I care Hap but I'm not gonna beg you to talk to me. I figured when you pulled your head out of your ass you'd say what you had to say." I tilted my chin at him.  
"Did you fuck Tig?"  
"What?"  
"The night you bailed on me. Did. You. Fuck. Tig?"  
"No! Jesus he got in a fight with Venus and got to drunk to drive himself home so I went to get him, we talked about what happened, I gave him advice and I drove him home, he didn't want to be alone so I stayed with him."   
"You stayed the night with another guy and thought that was ok?" I scoffed at him.  
"No. I stayed the night with my best friend because he didn't want to be alone. There was nothing romantic about it Happy."  
"You stayed the night with a guy that you used to fuck, after bailing on the guy you're fucking now and that didn't seem like it would be a little awkward to you?" He demanded and I shook my head.   
"I thought that you'd be a fuckin adult and realize that I am with _you_. Not Tig. That the moment I met you I wanted you. That you would know that I'm not a cheater and that I would never do anything that would upset you or hurt you. I thought that you trusted me. I'm sorry if you saw what you wanted to see but I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you dictate how I behave with the one person that has always been there for me." He took a step closer to me and his face closed off.   
"What happened to 'what I think matters?' You know that I don't share and you told me that you'd never cheated on anyone and that you never would well you're acting like a cheater right now. This conversation shouldn't even be necessary and I think that maybe I knew all along that this was going to be a mistake, maybe that is why I had such reservations to begin with. Not much trust there is there?"   
"If you were really that unsure about it then why did you even bother. I have never done anything to make you think that I wasn't loyal to you, I'm committed to _you_ Happy and I really care for you, but right now you're acting like an asshole and I don't have to deal with that. I am committed to you, I care for you and I only want to be with you. But it seems to me like you are the one who doesn't want me." He just looked at me, shook his head, turned around and walked away. I watched him go and then i got in my car and drove home.   
I called in sick from work because of how upset I was, I was one of those people who cried when they were to a certain anger level and I hated it. Wet anger was like a weakness, you cared too much and couldn't contain it so your pain leaked down your face, leaving tracks down your cheeks. I knew at some point it would go back to dry anger, I just wasn't there yet. I had two days off so I used them to hole up and lick my wounds. On the second day Gemma called and asked me if I wanted to make some extra cash.   
"Your girl at Cara Cara cancel again?" She said yes and I told her that I would cover for her. It wasn't for a few days so that was nice. Tig came over that night and when I answered the door he looked horrified.   
"What the fuck?"   
"Hi Tig, nice to see you."  
"Happy was acting like a surly dick, what happened?" I shook my head at him but he gave me that look so I sighed and started to tell him.   
"He uh he was ignoring me so I confronted him, turns out h-he thought we fucked that night you fought with Venus and we fought about it, he said- said that he regretted ever dating me because he couldn't trust me and th-that this was a mistake. I told him that I cared for him, that I would never hurt him or cheat on him, that I trusted him and only wanted him. H-he just walked a-away Tig. He just left." I broke down, slid down the wall and started to cry. Tig just gaped at me because I _never_ cried sad tears, I was always numb to that emotion. He came and sat next to me and pulled me onto his lap.   
"Don't cry baby shh, It's ok. Fuck him, he is gonna get a knife up the ass for this." He grumbled as he rocked me until I was all cried out. He carried me over to the couch once I fell asleep and he laid me down and covered me with his jacket. He called Jax and told him that I was having an emergency so he was gonna miss church tonight. An hour later I heard my doorbell ring and he went to answer it. I didn't bother getting up because I didn't care who it was really. Until I heard Tig yelling. "What the fuck are you doing here?"  
"Jax said something was wrong with her. Why are you here." I heard a fist connect with flesh and then the small table by my front door being broken as I sat up. Happy was on the ground and Tig was standing above him.   
"I'm here holding my best fucking friend together as she cried over some asshole. She never fucking cries and she just fucking bawled herself to sleep because of you. You fucking left her alone you piece of shit after everything she has been through you fucking broke her and left her." He was shouting by the end of it.  
"She cheated on me! I'm not gonna be used like that." He stood up and Tig slammed him against the wall and then kneed him in the stomach.   
"We haven't fucked since the night of that spaghetti dinner. I am with someone and F/N, she loves you. I have picked that girl up so many times, after being raped by her father and his friends for months before she told me, after they took her from my house hid her, got her hooked on crack, raped her again and she had to go through withdrawals in my bathroom after I saved her again, after she tried to kill herself when she broke out of my house, went to find more crack and her father found her. He got her pregnant and then took her to get an abortion at a back alley fucking clinic, I finally got her to stop cutting herself after the doctors told her that her insides were so scarred up from that that she could never have kids of her fucking own and through all that she never cried sad tears. I never saw her get that upset. But you, you come along and break her in a way that they never did. You broke her heart and for that I hope she never fucking forgives you. Now get out." I stood up and walked over to Tig. I put my hand on his arm and he looked at me with sad eyes.   
"I'll take it from her Tig."   
"No-"  
"Yes. You don't have to leave Tig, just let me say what I need to say." He nodded and Happy stood up to look at me.   
"Is all that true?" It was but I was not gonna tell him that, he didn't get to know my story anymore. He didn't want me, and that was what I would have to get used to.  
"What do you want?"   
"I came to make sure you were ok."  
"You don't get to know that anymore."  
"I wanted to say I'm sorry."   
"You said everything you had to say, or not say rather, when you walked away from me at TM. That was all I needed to hear."   
"That's it?" He asked me and I nodded.   
"That's it." He gave me a long searching look and then walked out of my life for a second time. I sighed and watched him leave.   
"You ok?" Tig asked and I nodded at him as I closed the door. The sound of the lock clicking into place seemed louder than it ever had before.


	5. Chapter 5

I was making a lot of new friends at Cara Cara, and in turn they would show up at the bar and visit with me which was a win win, porn stars bring in men and that means tips. I was working on a second film for Gemma, she had decided to hire me on and fire that girl who never shows up so I had a few movies ready for me. This guy was coming around at the end of the day offering jobs to the girls and I mentioned it to Juice. He told Jax and then all the guys showed up to 'talk' with the guy. I completely ignored Happy and ended up getting passed around for hugs from Tig, to Juice, to Opie, then Jax before I was set on my feet in front of Half-Sack. I kissed his cheek and he blushed. Thankfully we were inside since I was in a leather bikini top and tiny denim shorts that were the size of booty short underwear. The guys left after that, leaving Half-Sack behind as a bodyguard of sorts and that weird guy never showed up again, so a few days later I was surprised to look up and see Happy without any of the other guys. He was staring at me and I was pretending that I was fixing my make up instead of looking at him. He started to walk over to me when Half-Sack popped up next to me.   
"Hi F/N."  
"Hi Kipp." I smiled at him.  
"So the theater is playing The Rocky Horror Picture Show tomorrow and since you are my only friend that likes that I wondered if you wanted to go with me. I know that you haven't gotten out much since- well everything and I think it would be good for you." I grinned at him and nodded.   
"Sure, that sounds great. Thanks Kipp." He grinned and hugged me before he wandered off. I got called back on set and forgot all about seeing Happy, it was nice to forget for a while. I really missed him and I was hoping it would get easier. I grabbed some stuff from the store before I headed home and I saw a familiar bike sitting in my drive way, I also saw a familiar figure sitting on my porch. _Happy!_ My heart started beating harder and faster.  
"What are you doing here?" I asked in what I hoped was a bored voice as he stood up and came to help me carry groceries.  
"I want to talk to you." I sighed and unlocked my door, he followed me into the kitchen.  
"I'm gonna go change." I muttered and headed to my room. I was also needing to collect my thoughts. Why is he here, I thought we were done, what does he ant to talk about? I changed into black shorts, a tank top, and wadded my hair up into a messy bun before I headed out to put the food away. Happy was sitting at the table waiting for me. I didn't look at him as I started to clean up, preheated the oven and left out the stuff I'd need to cook with.   
"How have you been?" He asked and I scoffed.   
"Peachy. You?" I washed my hands and started to mix the ingredients together for meatloaf.   
"I miss you." He muttered in a tone that wasn't very happy.  
"Sounds like you hate that." He sighed.   
"Look, I get it. I fucked up and hurt you, you have every right to be mad but please just listen to what I have to say ok?" I still hadn't looked at him, I was afraid too because then my resolve would crumble.   
"Fine." I kept adding ingredients, meat, bread crumbs, milk, eggs, tomato paste, seasonings. I put it in the pan and smeared ketchup on top while he gathered his thoughts.   
"I've never been a good guy F/N. I've never been on for stability and never wanted to have a home, I take care of my mom sure but she is in a facility where I can visit her, I don't need to be stable for that. I came here and saw that Jax, Opie, hell even fucking Clay had homes and women and kids and I thought that maybe I wanted that too, then I met you and you were fucking around with Tig. You looked at me and smiled when you first saw me, you didn't seem scared or nervous you just fucking smiled and I felt like a hole had been punched through my chest. I wanted you and then I had the chance to have you so I took it. I was wrong when I told you that this was a mistake and that I regretted it. I regret letting you drive away upset and it was a mistake to let my fear cloud the truth."   
"Fear?" I asked him and he nodded.   
"I fell in love with you and then I let my mind wander when you stayed with Tig. I knew that you'd never cheat, that you wouldn't hurt me or Venus that way but I still let my mind think that instead of admitting that I love you. I got to see how amazing you are, the way you are kind to little old ladies in the store and help them reach things on high shelves, how you give water to dogs that are running the streets, how you help Gemma keep the club in line and make sure that they all are taken care of. You are this amazing person and no one would ever know the horrors that you went through, how are you that strong?" He asked and I still hadn't looked at him. I turned and put the meatloaf in the oven as it dinged and when I turned around he was in front of me. He took my face in his hands and made me look at him. I hadn't missed the fact that he said that he loves me not loved. I felt like my heart was warming up from the middle and working its way out.  
He had dark circles under his eyes and his eyes were sad and empty. I just looked at him and shrugged.   
"I had to be. Tig was there he scooped up all the shards and glued them back together with patience and a special fucking glue. I've known him since I was 17 and he was 23. He is a staple in my world Happy he is the one thing that keeps me in line which is terrifying because he is a fucking wreck. I love him but not like that, he is my best friend but you-" I sighed. "The way I love you isn't like that, it's consuming and permanent and just because you walked away doesn't mean that my feelings or the truth did." I tried to back away from him but I was stuck between him and the counter.   
"I want to make this right. Tell me how to fix it. Please." He picked me up and set me on the counter so that I was level with him. I looked at him and his eyes were determined now and I just tilted my head.   
"What is it that you want me to say?" I asked him softly and he put his hands on my hips.   
"I want you to tell me that I was an asshole, that you are still mad at me but that you will let me make it up to you, that I didn't screw up so much that you never want to see me again. But If I did then I understand. I will walk out that door and you will never have to see me again." I looked at him for a long minute and thought long and hard about what I wanted. I knew what my heart wanted and my brain was on the same page. I sighed and shook my head.   
"You are an asshole Happy Lowman, you made me so mad that I thought I'd never be happy again and then I got sad because I am in love with an idiot who I thought didn't want me. You screwed up big time and I am not gonna try to say that is ok because it isn't. But Happy I swear to Buddha if you walk out that door and leave me here alone again I will have to hurt you." He stared at me before it clicked what I said then he grinned and wrapped his arms around me in a bone crushing hug. "You look like hell when did you sleep last?" He shrugged and I wrapped my arms and legs around him. "After dinner we're going to bed. I think we both need a fuckin nap." He laughed and nodded. He was fine to just stand there and let me hug him and I was grateful for that. We did end up eating dinner and going to sleep.  
  
I heard my phone ringing and it was Kipp. "Yeah?" I mumbled half asleep.   
"Uh Hi, are we still on for the movies today?" I nodded and remembered that he couldn't see me.   
"Yeah we are when is it again?"  
"In about an hour."   
"You got it, I'll meet you there." I hung up and looked over at Happy. "Hey." I poked him and he growled at me. "Wake up."   
"No."  
"I'm going to the movies with Kipp, wanna come?" He peeked an eye open.   
"The prospect?" I nodded and he shrugged. "Ok. What are we watching." I laughed and got out of bed to get dressed. An hour and a half later Kipp and I were both laughing at the look on his face. "You guys are weird." He muttered as he ate a handful of popcorn.   
"Hey you like it." I told him and he nodded and slung his arm over my shoulders.   
"Damn right I do."


End file.
